cradle song
by esmeaplatt
Summary: Carlisle and Edward learn that Esme can play the violin.


**cradle song**

* * *

Esme had only been with them for a little while. Her first week as a vampire had been one of excitement, the new lifestyle being both challenging because of the bloodlust and exhilarating due to the newfound freedoms she possessed. The young girl in her that dreamed of adventure and fairytales in which magic was real was overjoyed with the ability to run at incredible speeds, to be able to climb trees without consequence.

However, after that first week, things changed. The novelty wore off quickly when the long, sleepless nights made her mind wander. Climbing trees and jumping from rock to rock didn't seem so appealing after a night of reliving her baby boy's tragically short life. She couldn't find joy in racing through the forest after hours of listening to her husband's cruel words replay over and over again in her head.

She took to spending most of her time alone after that first week, holed up in her room with a sketchbook that Carlisle had bought her. Esme sketched her baby over and over again, hoping that the repetition would help it to stick with her. After the boys had told her that human memories may fade, she feared losing the only part of her son she had left.

Carlisle and Edward were concerned, trying their hardest to coax her out of her room but finding that they didn't really know her well enough to be successful. She'd occasionally give in and spend an hour or so in the family room before excusing herself for the night.

One day, almost three weeks after she'd woken up as one of them, she moved slowly from her bedroom toward Edward's music room. The song was beautiful- a melancholy tune that seemed to pair well with the dark cloud that had been looming over her. She hesitated in the doorway as she watched the boy play. He was talented, his soul coming out through the notes he so carefully played.

After a moment of watching, Esme stepped into the room and took a seat in the armchair situated next to the window. She peered outside, watching as little robins perched themselves on the washing line.

"Any requests?" Edward asked her as he finished his song.

"Do you know Brahm's lullaby?" She murmured, her eyes still fixed on the birds.

A second went by before the gentle melody filled the room. She couldn't help but let her eyes close as her mind went back to the first day with him in the hospital, how she'd hummed softly while he nursed. She had told him that one day she'd play the song for him on her violin. It was at her tiny apartment tucked away under her bed and she'd promised to let him hear the lullabies she'd taught herself to play.

"You play?" Edward asked her in a soft voice, lifting his fingers off of the keys.

"I've been playing the violin since I was a girl. I was never very good but I enjoyed it."

Edward smiled. "Did you hear that Carlisle?" He asked the man that he knew had been listening from the floor above them.

Less than a minute later Carlisle was walking into the room with a violin case in his hands.

"You have a violin?" She asked them, the corner of her mouth quirking when then nodded. "I should have known. What other instruments do you have stashed away?"

Carlisle smiled at her as he took a seat in the arm chair beside hers. "Enough to start a rather large band."

"We'd need more vampires." Edward said. "And you'd need to learn how to play, old man."

"300 years and you've never learned to play an instrument?" Esme asked.

"Do medical instruments count?"

Esme laughed softly, the sound making Carlisle's still heart flutter. He so loved seeing her smile, both he and Edward did.

"I supposed they do." She told him. "But I'm not sure how well they'd do you when it came time to perform."

"Oh, I don't know. I could bang a scalpel or two against something to make a little tune."

Esme laughed again and the boys exchanged a triumphant look, overjoyed at the fact that they'd made her laugh twice.

"Please, Carlisle. You are utterly tone deaf." Edward said as he reached out to take the violin from him. "Esme, may we hear you play? It would be nice to be the listener for once."

"I don't know…" Esme looked at both of them, biting her lip as she looked between Carlisle with his encouraging, hopeful smile and Edward as he removed the the violin from its case.

"I would love to hear you play." Carlisle said. "And…you might find it cathartic. I know you've found sketching to be."

She held his gaze as a few seconds ticked by and then nodded, taking the violin from Edward.

Esme took a breath she didn't need as she situated the instrument just right, making sure it was tuned. She thought back to the songs she'd been practicing just before- the lullabies. Slowly, she placed the bow against the strings and began to play the song she'd wanted so badly to share with her son.

To play it without him hurt but when she glanced around the room, she found two pairs of gentle eyes watching her. Eyes that had saved her, that had tried their very best to make her feel welcome and safe in their home. Eyes that she was beginning to love with everything she had.

She lost herself in the music as her memories mixed in with the present day, her baby's soft skin and Edward's messy hair making her smile. She wondered what her son would have thought of her new friends, if he'd have kicked at Carlisle's ribs like he'd done to her when she held him against her.

When she finished the song, the boys clapped for her and she couldn't help but smile at them.

"That was beautiful, Esme." Carlisle told her sincerely with something she couldn't quite name shining in his eyes.

"It was." Edward agreed. "And _he_ was."

Esme tore her eyes from Carlisle to look at Edward, nodding just slightly as she whispered her response. "He was."

"I am so, so sorry." Carlisle said. "We can't imagine how deeply you're hurting but if you'd let us, we'd like to try to help you through this. We care very deeply for you and seeing you suffer alone…"

Esme shook her head, her lower lip trembling as she tried to force a smile. "I don't want to forget him." She choked out, a dry sob escaping her lips.

Without thinking, Carlisle stood and reached for her. He pulled her into a hug before either of them really knew what was happening. The violin and box slid from her hands for Edward to catch as she wrapped her arms tightly around Carlisle. Her newborn strength made her grip slightly painful but he didn't let her see that. One of his arms was wrapped securely around her while the other rested on the back of her head.

As the dry sobs wracked her body, Carlisle held her closer and met Edward's eyes. His son was fighting back his own sobs, Esme's grieving thoughts almost too much for the boy.


End file.
